I lost again today
waiting for angels to fall down from heaven

I lost my way again
(there is no way)
and the facts have not changed

My heart
is wrapped up in a special kind of hell
You raise a toast
a poisoned glass
and wish me well
and

nothing seems true coming from you

Shut me out, draw me in
and pick a reason why
why not
whatever

Conspire to make an enemy of me
(a role cast sight unseen)

My heart
is wrapped up in a special kind of hell
You raise a toast
a poisoned glass
and wish me well
and

with friendship down, nothing is sound

One drink simply won’t do
I need numb through and through and then
some more, dear

I’m twisted from this head and seeing red and
facts that cannot change

My heart
is wrapped up in a special kind of hell
You raise a toast
a poisoned glass
and wish me well
and

the coldest hell is a wishing well (this)

Arrive through gilded doors
Approach the lusty noise
of bizarre girls and boys
Invited
slightly bored

"Kiss me again"

She feels her blood run blue
wishing it wasn’t true
taking hands I withdrew
pulling me far from view

"Kiss me again"

Departing from all mores
wayfaring upper floors
She leads a slow parade
towards a chance delayed

"Miss me again"

Beneath one thousand count
she challenges my doubt
My fears are not misplaced
only, somehow erased

"Love me again"

I’m stumbling through badlands
fists, hits and stone
Seven reasons why

Because sorrow doesn’t need a season
Because faith lays waste to reason

Tired (recovery from following)

Bait, hook, cry
Fears multiplied
Seven reasons why

Because seeds of fantasy grew to block the daylight
Because a backwards plan is my unclaimed birthright

Tired (recovery)

I’m cutting ties that bind
I’m putting down expired lies

Because my heaven doesn’t lie beyond the clouds
and all attempts to tear it down are further from me now
(and I’m tired) recovery from following

Born into infinite space
Father’s gone
Mother’s a trace

Create the world
Deny your fear
when teardrop rains are forecast here

Arm yourself with pain and regret
The one you want
you haven’t felt yet

Their eyes: alive
Their love: yours all the time

Starving days
Dreaming to feed
Out of bounds: substance for need

Create someone
a seamless disguise
a hollow shell
a feast for the eyes

Arm yourself with pain and regret
The one you want
you haven’t felt yet

Their eyes: alive
Their love: yours all the time

Will you have me?
In, out, everything?
Should I trust you
with my remaining few?

It only matters because I want you

Can we really
live this luxury?
Will you kill me
and leave me nothing?

It only matters because I want you

Retreat [ ri-treet ]

noun

1) The act of withdrawing, as into safety or privacy; retirement; seclusion.

2) A place of refuge, seclusion, or privacy.
Touched by cold
Beneath grey skies, we play
in this town
a melancholy maze

Blush on white
and jewelry in the form of eyes
that plead for something

true
and more beautiful
than anything
that we’ve ever known before

A flowing canopy surrounds my view
freckles and cream
the sky above me

Whisper tones
falling from your lips and smile
are feeding something

true
and more beautiful
than anything
that I’ve ever known before

Never present silence wakes
in the absence of our entourage
And all I have
is all I want
you kissing me
kissing me
kissing me

All lyrics written by Mattias & © Surfer’s Hollow (ASCAP)